Broken Me
by ReadBooksWriteThings
Summary: Bellatrix has a crush on Alice Longbottom, a girl one year her senior, and they talk through letters. When Alice marries Frank, Bellatrix is so heartbroken she goes to desperate lengths to get her revenge. Bellatrix/Alice


**An Alice/Bellatrix femmeslash story in which Bellatrix has a crush on Alice Longbottom, a girl one year her senior, and they talk through letters. When Alice marries Frank, Bellatrix is so heartbroken she goes to desperate lengths to get her revenge.**

**HPFC - Sapphic Season**

**Tragedy/Romance - 3pts**

**No dialouge fic - 1pt**

**Curse - 1pt**

**On opposite sides of the war - 2pts**

**Golden Snitch - Beauxbatons Barbegazi**

**Santa Claus is Coming to Town - Naughty: 13. Write about a young Bellatrix Lestrange**

**Word Count: 3601**

**Sorry if Bellatrix seems a little off character, I wanted her to seem like a sweet and innocent kid who turned bad because of jealousy. Also the ending got way darker than I thought it would, so here's a warning for torture.**

* * *

An eleven-year-old Bellatrix Black grinned as she was declared a Slytherin. She leapt off the stool and headed towards the kids in her new house. On the way there, another girl caught her eye.

A girl from the Gryffindor table was smiling at her. She was really pretty.

It was as though the young girl was in a trance as she walked to her new house table, she couldn't stop staring at the girl across the room.

Bellatrix should have been watching the rest of the Sorting, but all she could do was look at the pretty brown-haired girl from Gryffindor, who gave her a wave. Bellatrix had never seen someone so pretty before. She knew she wasn't supposed to even smile at Gryffindors but this girl just seemed so nice and all the eleven-year-old wanted was to get to know her better.

It was her first night at Hogwarts and Bellatrix was still full from the delicious feast, the food put everything else out of her mind. She changed into a night gown and was about to go to sleep when she remembered the girl she saw after her Sorting.

Bellatrix waited until all of her new dorm mates were asleep before pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill.

_Hello, my name is Bellatrix Black. I saw you at the Sorting after I was sorted into Slytherin. You smiled at me and you seem very nice. I'm not allowed to talk with Gryffindors but I really want to get to know you better. If you would like to write a letter back to me, put it in this book and put it on the shelf closest to the Restricted section. I look forward to getting to know you better._

_-Bellatrix Black._

The next day, before her very first class, Bellatrix snuck down to the library. She needed a way to give it to the other girl. There was no way she could be caught talking to a Gryffindor.

Good thing she had thought of a plan last night.

Bellatrix grabbed a book titled 'All about Ancient Runes from the 1600s', it was in perfect condition, a sure sign that it had never been touched. To Bellatrix, it was a sure sign that nobody ever read and would never read this book. it was perfect. She slipped her letter inside the first few pages and went to go find the Gryffindor.

It seemed as though luck was on her side that day. As Bellatrix left the library, looking for a way to find the girl without being late to her first class, she caught sight of the girl walking down the hall. She was alone.

Bellatrix ran to catch up with the girl and gave her the book silently. From here, Bellatrix could see that this girl wasn't that much older than her. She seemed a little surprised but accepted the book from Bellatrix, who instantly walked away, knowing to be seen with a Gryffindor would mean getting a Howler from her parents.

After every class she had, Bellatrix eagerly checked the shelf she had told the girl to place the book in. It was never there.

...

After about a week, when Bellatrix was just about ready to give up and say that all Gryffindors were horrible, the book was in the shelf closest to the Restricted section. Just where she had hoped it would be.

She eagerly opened the book and almost let out a squeal when she saw a letter inside.

_Hi, Bellatrix. _

_I remember you from the Sorting. My name is Alice Denver. I really do hope that you have enjoyed your first week at Hogwarts (how do you like Charms, it's my favorite class). My parents won't let me talk to Slytherins (Which is so dumb because I'm sure that you're an amazing person)._

Bellatrix smiled, pleased that Alice thought so kindly of her.

_I guess that these letters can be our way of talking. I'll continue to leave them in this book on the shelf near the Restricted section. It's actually a very good book, you should read it. I guess that if we are going to be pen pals, I might as well tell you somethings about myself. I'm in my second year at Hogwarts (so we are pretty close in age). I don't have much friends, but I do have two that I would trust with my life (maybe you can be my third!) Their names are Mary McDonald and Emmeline Vance. They are both my dorm mates and they are really nice. My favorite classes are Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, I also really hope to take Ancient Runes and Arithmancy next year._

_From: Alice_

_P.S: My birthday was just two days ago, when's yours?_

She brought the letter close to her heart, she had never had a pen pal or even a true friend before. This was going to be so much fun!

_To, Alice _

_I'm so glad that we can be pen pals, the girls in my dorm aren't that fun. I've read this book and it seems really cool, maybe I'll take Ancient Runes when I'm in my third year. My birthday is on December 5th, I wish I knew when you're birthday was beforehand so I could have said Happy Birthday. I don't have much to tell you because I haven't made any good friends yet. They are all just being my friends because their parents probably told them to, that's what it's like to be a Slyhterin. However, my favorite class right now is also Charms, it is really fun. I wish we could hang out sometime but I know we can't because we aren't in the same house. I wish you were in Slytherin, it's actually really nice here. I'm writing this before bed so I should probably go to sleep now. Hope to get a letter soon._

_From, Bellatrix._

_P.S: My favorite color is silver, what about you?_

...

On December 5th, Bellatrix ran into the library as soon as it opened and checked their secret book. Seeing the book back in it's place was the best birthday gift she could have asked for. Something happy ignited in her each time she got a letter from Alice, it was like nothing the now twelve-year-old had ever felt before. It was powerful.

Her smile grew even bigger when she saw that there was a small parcel sitting on the shelf in front of their book. It was a gift from Alice!

Bellatrix eagerly opened the wrapped package. Inside was a box of Honeyduke's best chocolate and a pack of silver quills. She couldn't believe that Alice had remembered her favorite color. She tucked the gifts into her bag and opened the letter.

_To Bella,_

_Happy 12th Birthday! I know I've only known you for a couple of months but I feel as though I have known you forever. Every letter that I have gotten from you (I think there are at least 7) are in a special drawer in my nightstand. You seem so smart, sweet, and amazing, I wish we could talk one day. When you graduate, I promise we'll make it happen. _

_Did you like my gifts? I know how much you love chocolate and I thought that the quills were a nice touch. I hope you have the best day ever!_

_From, Alice_

_P.S: We've started to look into our elective courses for next year and I have my mind set on Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies and Arithmancy_.

The whole day, Bellatrix had a smile on her face as she used one of the silver quills that Alice had gotten her. She even used it to write her letter back.

_To Alice_

_Thank you, thank you, thank you! The quills are so beautiful (I'm using one right now) and the chocolate tasted so good. I left one for you in a package near our book. I still think it's so funny that no one has realized that we're talking to each other. Did you tell any of your friends?_

_I made a friend this past month. Her name is Evelynn and she is actually one of my dorm mates. She's so much nicer than everyone else in my year._ _We spend a lot of time together (don't worry, you're still my best pen pal) and it's really great._

_Yay, you're taking Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, this book will come in handy for that.__ However I don't understand why you're taking Muggle Studies, my parents say _bad things about Muggles.

_From, Bella_

_P.S: You're the only person besides my sisters who call me Bella._

The very next day, there was a letter waiting for Bellatrix.

_To: Bella_

_Mmm, the chocolate was so good. I'm glad you liked my gifts. None of my friends know that we talk to each other, I don't think I'm ready to give up our little secret_.

_I'm so glad that one of your dorm mates became your friend. I saw her sitting with you at breakfast yesterday, she seems like a great friend. I'm happy to still be your number one pen pal, you're mine too._

_I'm so excited for my new electives next year. I'm taking Muggle Studies because I want to know how they do things without magic. I think that even though your parents say bad things about Muggles, you should have an open perspective._

_This book will definitely come in handy and it gives me an even better excuse as to why I almost always have an Ancient Runes book in my bag._

_From Alice_

_P.S: I remember your sisters, I have one who is Andromeda's age. You can call me Ali, that's what my sister Callie calls me._

...

As both girls got ready for their end of the year exams, their letters became a little more sparse, although they never stopped writing and thinking about each other. When it was the start of her second year, Bellatrix was overjoyed, now she and Alice could start sending letters again.

...

_To Ali_

_Hey, how was your summer. I can't believe that I forgot to get your address, I'll make sure we exchange them for next summer. I felt so lonely without your letters._

_How has your first week of third year been going? How is Ancient Runes, tell me all about it! I'm probably going to take it next year too. And how are Arithmancy and Muggle Studies?_

_My classes have been going pretty good. I'm already top of the class in Charms again and I really like Potions. We have Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Gryffindors, none of them are as nice as you. I just wish that I could hex one of them. I hope your classes have been going better._

_From, Bella_

Bellatrix frowned as she read the returning letter.

_To Bella_

_I missed you over the summer as well, we'll exchange addresses next summer for sure._

_I'm glad that you're doing good in Charms again. I would say to give those Gryffindors a chance and don't hex them, it isn't nice to lose your temper._

_My classes have been going great so far. I love Ancient Runes so much, it's my new favorite subject! Thank you so much for picking this book to be our special book, it's the reason I love Ancient Runes so much now. I made a new friend in Ancient Runes. His name is Frank Longbottom and he's really nice._

_From, Ali_

What was it Bellatrix felt about Frank Longbottom? She didn't know.

Why did she care so much anyway, she and Alice were just friends. Right?

...

That summer at the Black house was unbearable. Andromeda had met a muggle boy named Ted at the park and they spent every free hour with each other. Andromeda swore that she knew he was Muggle-born but that just made their parents angrier.

They yelled at her, saying that all Black family members had to marry pure bloods. When Bellatrix had stepped in, saying that Muggles weren't all bad (that was what Alice had told here), her mom used Crucio on her.

After her mom had finished using the torturous curse on her, Bellatrix hobbled to her room where she immediately wrote out a letter to Alice, who always made her feel better.

_To Ali_

_How has your summer been going so far? Mine has been going horribly. Andromeda made a muggle friend and my mom used Crucio on me when I tried to defend her. Mom kept saying that all Blacks had to make pure blood __marriages. It made me really angry. You're pure blood as well, do your parents say that sort of stuff?_

_There is also something else I need to tell you. It's rather embarrassing and I think there is something wrong with me. You see, my parents always say that I have to marry respectable men who associate with our family but I don't really like boys. they are so annoying. I think I would rather marry a girl. If I told my parents that, they'd probably blast me off the family tree, or maybe even kill me. You're the only one I can tell this to, because I think I may have a crush on you. I hope you don't think I'm terribly weird._

_From, Bella_

A few tears fell onto the parchment as she finished her letter and Bellatrix quickly wiped them away, Blacks didn't cry. She contemplated tossing the letter out, how could she tell someone her secret? But this was Alice and if she couldn't talk to Alice, she couldn't talk to anyone.

The next week a letter came by owl. Bellatrix opened it with shaking hands.

_To Bella_

_That's horrible! How can your parents use Crucio on you? Please talk to the Ministry, they can help you._

_My summer has been okay, pretty normal. I'm excited for my fourth year to start, you must be excited for Ancient Runes and Divination. You're going to have a blast._

_About how you said you like girls, well I have something to tell you. I like both girls and boys, it's called being bisexual. If you only like girls I think that means you're lesbian. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with that and I'm glad you told me._

_I know you said you think you have a crush on me and I think I have a crush on you. I know we can't be together (maybe when we graduate we can) but I want you to know that if it was solely my choice, we would spend every waking minute with each other._

_I truly hope the rest of your summer is more enjoyable and I'm counting down the days until we can see each other again._

_Love, Ali_

The letter filled Bellatrix with happiness and joy. She wasn't strange after all! And Alice liked her too, when she finally graduated from Hogwarts they would have to get married. Only she could never tell her family, the soon to be thirteen year old shuddered to think of what might happen if her parents figured out that she liked girls, a Gryffindor no less. She would keep it a secret.

...

For the next two years, Bellatrix and Alice had the best relationship either of them had ever had, at least what you could have without ever talking to one another.

Their weekly letters became more detailed and sophisticated. They were the equivalent of love letters, written by two teenage girls who knew they could never be together. A war was starting and they were both painfully aware that they were on different sides. The least they could do was enjoy whatever time they had left as girlfriends.

Every time they saw each other, they gave little smiles and waves, as opposed to fake glares. Alice even went as far as to 'accidentally' bump into Bellatrix, who returned by 'accidentally' getting them both into detention. It was by far the best idea ever because it made everyone at Hogwarts sure that they hated each other but they got to spend time together. They got to touch each other. And it was more than what Bellatrix could ever ask for.

...

_Dear Bella_

_I got 7 OWLs! I'm so proud of myself. It was actually a little hard, __especially with all the detentions you kept getting us into. _

_You must be pumped for your fifth year, can you believe we've been best friends for so long. I'm really excited for my sixth year, graduation is so close and we can finally get together after you graduate. This letter is a little short so I guess my next one has to be longer. _

_Never forget that I love you, Bella._

_Love, Ali_

Alice was right, fifth year was really nice so far.

_Dear Ali_

_Congrats on your 7 OWLs! Fifth year has been great so far, Ancient Runes and Potions (Charms too) are the best. I'm so glad we got into Ancient Runes. _

_Yes, only a few more years until we both graduate! So, how many detentions do you think we can get into this year? _

_From, Bella_

The letter she received back filled her with angry and jealousy.

_To Bella_

_I don't think we can do any more detentions this year. I really want to focus on my classes and I think you should be focusing on your OWLs._

_However, there's something I have to tell you about. Do you remember Frank Longbottom? He's my best friend from Ancient Runes. We've become so much closer over the holidays and last week, he asked me if I wanted to become his girlfriend! I know what you're thinking but I did say yes, because I thought it would be rude if I said no. And he's a really nice guy. I told him about you and he reckoned that I should tell you about me and him being together. Even you know that our relationship won't work out. We can never be together, it just can't happen. A war is starting and we're on different sides. Your side supports You-Know-Who and I don't. We are just girlfriend and boyfriend, maybe if after Hogwarts you end up on my side we can be together. I'm so sorry Bella, I hope we can remain friends._

_From, Ali_

Angry tears fell from Bellatrix's eyes, smearing the ink from Alice's letter. She didn't care. How could Alice do this to her? Bellatrix knew that her girlfriend was bisexual but how could she say that their relationship wouldn't work out? She knew they were on different sides but she always held on to a shred of hope that one day she could marry the girl of her dreams. Alice.

...

The next two years was torture for Bellatrix. Seeing Alice and Frank walk together in the halls,, hand in hand, made Bellatrix wish she could curse the boy. He was ruining everything! Yet, it was her own fault too. If she hadn't told Alice about Ancient Runes, those two would have never met.

After that Bellatrix went to Ancient Runes class with hatred, only thinking of Frank and how she wished she could torture him for taking her best friend away.

Alice sent her letters every other week but Bellatrix hardly sent them back. When she passed the two in the halls, she gave them real glares as opposed to fake ones.

In every letter, Alice tried to remind Bellatrix that they were dating and that nothing was confirmed yet, but she knew better.

...

Bellatrix's fears were confirmed near the end of her seventh year. Alice was marrying that horrid boy, Longbottom, and they were going to have a baby. A baby!

This was the last straw for Bellatrix. She cried for weeks, swearing to get revenge on the man who had ruined her entire life.

The moment she graduated from Hogwarts, she met with the Dark Lord, nothing was worth it anymore, she might as well do what her family wanted.

When the Dark Lord had given her the opportunity to find the Longbottoms, Bellatrix jumped at the chance to torture the man she hated most.

...

Bellatrix smiled with pleasure as the man on the floor writhed in pain, screaming out random things. He was losing his mind and Bellatrix was happy to know it. Finally, after ours of torturing he fell unconscious. Smiling with glee, Bellatrix took of her mask and turned to her fellow Death Eaters, ready to tell them to leave. What she saw next would haunt her for the rest of her life.

It was Alice, being dragged by Evelynn, her Death Eater best friend. Alice was shrieking in pain and screaming for her husband. She stopped the moment she caught sight of Bellatrix's exposed face.

The things Alice had screamed threatened to scar her forever. Alice screamed at her, saying that they were best friends, that she trusted her, that she didn't know where the Bellatrix she had loved had gone.

Bellatrix slipped her mask back on, not wanting to give Alice the satisfaction of seeing the impact her words had on her.

Then she did the one thing she never thought she would ever do. Bellatrix raised her wand, pointing it at the girl she had loved and looked up to her whole life, and said the spell that Alice had always hated.

Alice screamed one last thing at Bellatrix before sinking into unconsciousness, where only confusion and madness would greet her when she awoke.


End file.
